How to be a Good Customer

It's Thanksgiving season and you're lying if you say you won't be hitting the grocery stores any time in the next 2 weeks. Here are some helpful tips on how to be a good customer (from a seasoned cashier's point of view).

Have your money ready. 

The people behind you shouldn't have to wait for you to navigate the depths of your Mary Poppins bag to find 56 cents. 

What do you mean you forgot where you put your money? 

"Oh, I guess you need me to pay huh?" This is not cute. You are not clever. It's obnoxious and your pissing people off.

"Can you check how much is on my food stamps card?" Uh, not in the middle of the order. "Oh, well there might not be enough on there." What.

Learn how to read

Don't bring up a lonely turkey when both the sign and  the ad say $0.37/lb turkey with a $25 minimum purchase. And don't tell me the sign doesn't say that. IT'S WRITTEN IN BLACK AND WHITE...and highlighted.

Don't fight with the cashier over a price. This is not a flea market. If you tell me a gallon of ice cream is $1.68, I can tell you didn't read the product name on the price tag. It makes you look stupid, not me.

"Are you open?" Does my sign say open?  "Yes" Then I guess I'm open.

The register says 12 items or fewer. You have a full cart. This is not okay.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

If' you're at the register and you remember something you forgot, wait until your order is paid for and then go get whatever it is. Don't run back for "just one thing" and come back 5 minutes later with half the store in your arms. It's rude, you lied, and all these people had to wait for you to finish being a d-bag.

Let my people goooo.

If you have enough food in your cart to feed a small village and the lady behind you has a gallon of milk, let her go. It's good karma. Who knows when you'll get stuck behind a full cart when all you wanna buy is a box of Brillo pads.

Follow proper cart etiquette

Don't let your kids stand in the cart. You'd think this is common sense, but it's not...oh I promise it's not.

Leave the carts in the store or put them in the cart corral. Don't be a d*ck...like this person.

The walk was a little too far for ya, huh buddy?

Don't take the carts home with you - I wish this was a joke.

Don't ram other customers with your cart - I wish this was a joke too.

There you have it! If everyone and their mother followed these simple rules, we'd all have a happier holiday season.

XO - Monny

Surviving Syllabus Week

Happy Friday, Blogland!!! I've never been happier to see a Friday, even though I have to head to work at 4 o'clock. The first week of school is almost over. And my sanity remained intact (for the most part). Tonight, I'm gonna get drunk go home from work and get my shit together for Tuesday so I can make the most of the long weekend.

Since I'm in my 19th year of school, I think it's safe to say that I'm an expert and getting the first week of school overwith. So I thought I'd put together a little how-to on making through the first week of classes, otherwise known as syllabus week. Read this, and then go grab a drink because the weekend is here and it's time to celebrate!

Step One: Books
Before you even think about buying your books from the school store, check out the plethora of rental and buyback sites to see if you can get it cheaper anywhere else. My friend Megan at Yammering Yankee wrote an awesome post about CampusBookRentals.com. I legit saved myself $280 by renting this semester, and I don't have to worry about burning the textbooks when I'm done with them (kidding...kinda). Your school bookstore is going to charge you the absolute highest price because they know that college kids are lazy and don't want to do the footwork to find the cheapest price. RENT RENT RENT!

Step Two: Syllabi
If your professor posts the syllabus on Blackboard or whatever site before the class starts, print it! It makes it easier to follow along on the first day and it makes you look like less of an asshat because you don't have to raise your hand to say you don't have one. Also, you don't have to spend the entire first day of class by frantically scribbling notes about office hours and assignments. It's all in front of you.

Step Three: Be early
During the first week of classes, get to your classroom as early as possible. Make sure you get the seat you want and put up your flag to claim your territory.  No one wants to be stuck in the corner behind the tallest kid in the room, or in the dreaded front row. My chosen seat is usually in the second row (so I can Tweet unnoticed) in the left-handed desk (lefties ftw). God help the person who decides to take my seat after the first week of classes YOU WILL PAY.

Step Four: Make friends
If you're lucky like me, you've already scoped out which of your friends are in your classes so that when a professor says "find a partner" on the first day, you can happily avoid the creepy mouth-breather next to you. If you're not so lucky, start a conversation with someone who looks kinda decent before the professor even gets there.
  
Step Five: Caffeine!
We all know that when school starts, your sleeping schedule is going to make you hate your life be a hot mess. 5 days in and mine is not back to normal yet. I've been going to bed between 10 and 11 pm and my body still wants to stay up til 2 am. NOT COOL. I found out the hard way that it really, really doesn’t like waking up at 5 in the morning. To beat the morning and afternoon sleepiness, make sure you find the nearest Starbucks, Saxby's, or Seattle's Best and introduce yourself to espresso drinks. Or if you're cheap like me, you can be bff's with your travel mug and Keurig and save a shitton of moolah to use at the bar.

If all else fails, Google tropical beaches and cocktail recipes or take a nap. Sometimes it’s easier to pretend that it’s summer. Have a good semester and try to keep your cool. 14 weeks until finals!

Linking up with Whitney for the first time. It's Friday so #backthatazzup ! Gatsby came out on DVD this week so it's only fitting to use one of Jay-Z's new masterpieces.

XO - Monny

When in Doubt, Pinky Out

After 28 posts, I finally get around to talking about tea. Haha.

Day 10: Today's prompt is: Summer Cooking

Okay so today's post is summer cooking. I refuse to cook anything in the summer, mostly because it's too damn hot to stand and cook for however long it takes to cook things. I will, however drop everything like a hot potato to make some delicious tea. And I don't wanna hear any of that "making tea isn't really cooking" nonsense. It involves measurements, ingredients, and turning on a stove - it's cooking.

This shiz is easy peasy so if you don't know to make a decent cup of tea yet, get ready to learn.

You'll need your most beloved cup/mug/tumbler, some tea (le duh), and sugar (the weird looking chunks are German rock sugar).

Step One: Fill half of tea strainer with tea that you wanna drankkk. I drink earl grey creme, which is a black tea so I put in 1 tsp per 8oz of water. Yeah, unfortunately you have to use a little bit of math skills. (ignore this step if you're using a tea bag)

Step Two: Pop your tea strainer or teabag into empty cup/mug/tumbler. I mean empty - no water, no milk, no sugar.

Step Three: Pour hot water over strainer/teabag. Let that sucker steep for a good three minutes. If you're like me, stick your nose all up in it and take a deep whiff. Mmmm tea.

Step Four: Take out strainer/teabag and doctor it up to your liking. Add sugar, milk, honey, lemon, or nothing at all. Put your pinky out and take a sip, then applaud yourself for making such a bangin' cup of tea.

Step Five: Sit down on the couch or in bed and turn on some trashy tv, or not-so-trashy in this particular case(Hello, Celtic Woman on PBS).

Step Six: Sip your tea, drink your tea, love your tea.

Step Seven: Be a tiny bit sad when you realize it's gone.

 Hope you enjoy!

XO - Monny