January 31, 2014

The Movie That Traumatized Me

Seeing as how I haven't been around these parts too much lately, I thought I'd at least give you something to laugh at while I try to get myself back into my bloggy pants.

Circa 1999 right around the time I turned eight, my mom took me and my cousins to see a movie on a hot summer day. The movie in question? Inspector Gadget. Yes Ferris Bueller himself had robotic arms, legs, and fingers and an annoying ass niece also known as Georgina Sparks.

We got the the theatre and grabbed a bunch of seats in the middle of the very last row. We were the only people in the whole place which was actually pretty exciting to a bunch of kids. So fast forward to the previews and I'm sitting with my feet on the seat to keep my toes warm with the dress I was wearing.

The next thing I know there's a gigantic woman sitting on me. Yes, you read that correctly. The lady with the world's biggest tush is flat out flattening my eight year old self. Someone should've put a wide load sign and blinkers on this thing.

I probably wouldn't be saying things about her size in any other context, but the lady's butt was so big that she didn't know she sat on me. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW YOU JUST SAT ON A SMALL CHILD? I'm flailing my arms and groaning for this lady to get off of me and no one even knew what was going on until the woman's son said, "uhh Mom, you just sat on a little girl!"

SWEET RELIEF - the lady finally got her ass off of me, turned around and apologized. Yeah lady thanks. You had the entire theatre to sit in any seat you wanted and you chose to sit on me.

Moral of the story: Don't sit on kids.

What traumatic experiences did you have as a kid?

And because it's the Friday, linking up with Miss Yoga Pants!
Because I haven't listened to my favorite band in a really long time.


  1. HAHAH! How does that even happen??? I'm dying over this- so funny.

  2. omg!!! That is terrible but hilarious!! How is that possible??

  3. I just busted out in laughter in the middle of starbucks. haha. I am glad you made it out from under her without suffocating!

  4. Wait... how did she NOT know she was sitting on you!!!!!!! That is insane! Wouldn't you at least FEEL it even if you didn't see it?!

  5. bahahaha this is hilarious, I can't even believe she didn't realize!!

  6. oh my!!!! that is funny. but I'm sorry it happened to you. :0)


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